Life as we know it has been turned upside down by the coronavirus pandemic and quarantine that we as a nation, and globally, find ourselves trapped and confused in its grip. We actually are in the midst of a collective trauma as we continue to grapple with uncertainty and a sense of a lack of control over how to adapt to this invisible threat that is sweeping across the world and killing our loved ones and devastating families and communities. In fact, famed trauma expert Bessel Vanderkolk, in a free talk he recently gave to health care professionals, has identified seven pre-conditions for trauma; these include (1) lack of predictability; (2) immobility; (3) loss of connection; (4) numbing and spacing out; (5) loss of sense of time and sequences; (6) loss of safety; and (7) loss of sense of purpose. As we find ourselves trying to accommodate to the changes in our lives as a result of COVID-19, these seven variables certainly speak to what many of us may be experiencing as we try to cope.
In trying to figure out methods and strategies for helping my clients cope with this abrupt and unexpected pandemic crisis, I’ve come to highlight the vital importance of personal agency and resilience in dealing with acute traumatic situations such as this. I want to be able to help others discover those factors of control that they still do have in their lives at a time when helplessness and powerlessness seems so profound. Below are six survival strategies for getting through this pandemic and quarantine….conditions that you have control over in your life, RIGHT NOW, that can aid you in overcoming this crisis with your well-being intact.
1. Structure
Maintaining a regular structure and routine will help you establish a semblance of normalcy to your daily living. This means getting up and going to bed at the same time every day, and filling in the time in-between with meaningful, productive activity. It might help to create a time management schedule where you write in all these activities into a Dayminder or on the calendar on your phone from the moment you get up, to the moment you go to bed; this will help build-in accountability for completing tasks and giving you a sense of accomplishment and completion that is so important during a time like this.
2. Productive Busyness
For many of us, this is a time where we are forced to be stuck at home with a lot of time on our hands. Most of us have “To-Do” lists of things we need to get done around the house or personal goals that we want to attain that we just never have time to get around to because of work, commuting, extracurriculars, or other obligations. We may never have another “golden opportunity” to be locked up at home to have this kind of time to devote specifically to accomplishing those very things. Similar to #1, this condition is about making a list of those “To-Do’s” and personal goals, prioritizing them, and then starting to tackle them. The sense of accomplishment, meaning, and purpose can have a positive impact on your mood and spirit.
3. Self-Care
This is the time to feed your mind, body, and soul to keep you rejuvenated and healthy. This means getting enough sleep, eating in a balanced way, and getting enough physical activity and exercise. And while it sure feels great to be able to live in our pajamas 24/7, it’s crucial to continue maintaining proper personal grooming and hygiene to keep ourselves clean and invigorated. A lack of showering over extended periods of time, for example, could be symptomatic of depression, so much of our self-care activities can become protective factors to avoiding mental health difficulties. This is also a time to relax and engage in leisure, recreational, and spiritual pursuits for personal growth/development and pleasure to mitigate stress.
4. Socialization
One of the most difficult barriers to our quarantine is that we can begin to feel isolated from our family and friends due to social distancing mandates. We are social creatures, so being separated from interpersonal stimulation can really intensify “cabin fever”, especially for extroverts. This is the time to call all your family and friends on a regular basis for check-ins and socialization. Finding ways to help others during this difficult time can be very healing as well, and there are a variety of virtual groups online that could help meet some of your social needs. Having “Zoom” parties online, for example, can be a creative way to socialize, or perhaps play Jackbox Games virtually with your family and friends. The possibilities are endless!
5. Conscious Positivity
a. We are constantly inundated by news and media about the coronavirus pandemic, and this constant negativity and fear-messaging can provoke persistent feelings of anxiety and stress that can wreak havoc on our bodies and moods. While it’s important to be well-informed about what’s going on with the latest developments, we don’t need to be swimming in it. It’s encouraged that you set boundaries and limits around your exposure to such material by perhaps sectioning out a small portion of your day to watching the evening news or reading social media articles about the pandemic as a protective factor to absorbing this negativity and adding further to our trauma. And pay attention to only credible facts and sources.
b. At this time of fear and uncertainty, it’s crucial that we try to adopt light-hearted approaches to our daily life by intentionally exposing ourselves to things that will make us laugh and trigger our sense of humor to lighten the intensity. Watching funny You-Tube videos, viewing a great comedy on Netflix, or creating a file on your phone or computer that you can store funny memes or affirmations that you discover can help us achieve more positivity and belly-laughs in our lives. This can help to release those stress endorphins we might be building up inside.
6. Visioning
We will get on the other side of this crisis. And when we do, what will your take-aways be from this pandemic experience? What have you learned about yourself? The pandemic has taught us that life is not guaranteed, so we have an opportunity on the other side to craft the kind of life that will truly make us feel happy. What legacy do you want to leave behind? What things have you been procrastinating on that you want to achieve to make the most of your life? How do you want to help others and make the world a better place? What would be personally fulfilling and meaningful for you with this next chapter of your life? Spend time now planning ahead so you can hit the ground running when the quarantines are lifted and safety has been restored. Perhaps you can even start now! What do you want to do, be, and have in your life? Create a collage or a vision board with pictures, words, and symbols from magazines of various genres as a physical representation of what that vision is to help you be accountable.
During this stressful time, it’s very important to breathe and find healthy strategies that work for you to assist you in self-soothing. When we feel threatened, our bodies go into a fight-or-flight response to protect ourselves. Being in a perpetual state of this, however, can do damage to our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual selves, so it’s crucial to find ways to disarm this instinct when threat is not present to take care of ourselves. This can be achieved through a variety of relaxation techniques (deep breathing, visualizations, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, meditation, etc.) Mindfulness can also be instrumental to avoid being caught up in our heads with a lot of negative ruminating or obsessive thinking. Learning to be fully present in the moment can combat that tendency, being sure to marshal all five senses in the here-and-now of your experiences to stay grounded and immerse yourself in the art of being.
You can use Google to find more information and practices for the various relaxation techniques and mindfulness exercises that abound. One of my favorite books is “The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook” by Edmund Bourne. Reading books that pertain to the therapy approaches of positive psychology, acceptance & commitment therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy would also be recommended as these modalities can be specifically helpful for situations such as what we’re managing. And of course, anything written by Bessel Vanderkolk on trauma in Amazon can be quite valuable.
We are in this together, and you are not alone! As a collective, let’s treat each other with kindness and compassion as we forage on. Please feel free to comment below about any other ideas you have for coping with this pandemic situation so we can all benefit from each other’s wisdom. Please be well and safe!
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